im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
