She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
