What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
