yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
