You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
