wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize