did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize