ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
