What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
