WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize