I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize