Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
