Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize