I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
