I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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