When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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