covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
