With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
