I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
