yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize