hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
