So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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