He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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