That's intense
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
