It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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