It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
