cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
