Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
