the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
