I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
