Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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