I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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