If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
