whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
