dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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