so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He told me they were just razor bumps!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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