i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
