somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
