I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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