so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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