He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
