i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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