You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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