His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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