It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
