you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
