Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
