oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
