i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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