He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm too high and old for this...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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