ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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