At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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