I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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