woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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