How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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