I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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