just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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