Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
