Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize