please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize