My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She bit a glass in half.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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