I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
