i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
