I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize