You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
