Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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