I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
